Shrek
by Sideshow Raquaelle
Summary: The Kung Fu Mystery Files story 3: Shrek. After reading a book, Yarnell the Deer, his Guardian Ventus Skyros & his adoptive sister Deerling discover a Portal that takes them to a Swamp and there they meet 2 Orges named Shrek & Fiona and team up with them to save the Kingdom from the Fairy Godmother.
1. The Portal to a New World

**Chapter 1.**

 **A Portal to a New World**

It was a bright sunny morning in DillyDale and at the bus stop Yarnell the Deer, his Guardian Ventus Skyros and his adoptive sister Deerling were waiting for the Peinguin Express to arrive.

"Good Morning Yarnell," said a voice coming from beside them, it was Little Miss Whoops.

"Good Morning Miss Whoops," said Yarnell.

"Yarnell," said Miss Whoops, "There's the DillyDale County Fair this afternoon and I was wondering if you, Skyros and Deerling would care to help me out at the DillyDale County Fair Pie tasting Contest."

"We be glad to," said Skyros.

"Yeah," said Deerling.

Just then the Peinguin Express arrived.

"See you later Miss Whoops," said Yarnell as he, Skyros and Deerling climbed aboard the bus.

Later on at breaktime Yarnell sat next to the Golden Lion statue, with Skyros and Deerling and he pulled out of his Saddlebag a book and it was titled:

 ** _The Story of Far Far Away_**

"Hey," said Skyros, "Where did you get that book?"

"I do not know," answered Yarnell, "I found it in the Garden of my house back home and I think it's a story book."

Deerling and Skyros looked at each other in confusion then back at Yarnell.

"Could you read it to us?" asked Deerling with curiousty.

Without an answer Yarnell opened the book and began to read:

 _Once Upon A Time_

 _In A Kingdom Far Far Away_

 _The King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl._

 _And throughtout the land everyone was happy._

 _Until the sun went down_

 _And they saw that their daughte was cursed_

 _With a frightful enchanment that took hold each and every night._

 _Desperate they sought the help of a fairy Godmother_

 _Who had them lock the Young Princess away in a tower._

 _There to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming._

Just as Yarnell finished reading, there came a flash of light, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling turned to the solid Surface of the Golden Lion Statue. Yarnell quickly put the book back into his Saddlebag and Skyros jump onto his head and sat there.

"What just happened?" asked Deerling.

"Hard to say," said Skyros, "But I think reading that book opened a Portal to a New World."

Yarnell went forward to the Statue and placed a hoove on the solid Surface and surprinsly it went right through it.

"You're right Skyros," he said, "If we want to find out where this Portol goes to, we'll have too see for ourselves."

"You mean we have to enter the Portal?" asked Skyros.

"Yes," said Yarnell and he then got into a running position and he ran into the Portal followed closely by Skyros. Deerling heistated a bit and then ran in after them.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling as they went travelling across Worlds and soon Yarnell past out.


	2. Meeting Shrek, Fiona & Donkey

**Chapter 2.**

 **Meeting Shrek, Fiona & Donkey**

Yarnell slowly opened his eyes and saw a blurry pink and a small dark green image speaking to him, he couldn't hear what the blurs said at first.

"Yarnell. Yarnell. Wake up, Yarnell," said the blurs.

His vision became a bit clearer and saw that it was Skyros and Deerling.

"Thank God, you're okay. You...are okay, right?" asked Skyros.

"I'am fine," said Yarnell as he got up and he looked around and he soon realised that he, Skyros and Deerling were in a huge forest.

"Skyros, Deerling," he said, "I've a feeling we're neither in Animal City nor DillyDale anymore." "If we are not in Animal City or DillyDale," said Skyros, "Then where are we?" "I shall tell you where you are," said a female voice, floating in front of Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling was a beautiful Enchantress. "Who are you?" asked Yarnell.

"I am the Enchantress," said the Enchantress.

"Could you please tell us where we are?" asked Yarnell.

"You 3 are in a Swamp and it's where your journey is about to begin," said the Enchantress.

"What do you mean our journey is about to begin?" asked Skyros in confusion.

"When Yarnell read the book, it opened a Portal that lead to here and it means your journey is about to start," said the Enchantress.

"But how will we get back home?" asked Yarnell.

"On another statue in the Kingdom of Far Far Away, there is another Portal and that will take you 3 home," said the Enchantress, "But it will only open when your journey has come to an end."

And with that the Enchantress vanished, leaving Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling alone. Yarnell, Skyros, riding on his head, and Deerling walked through the Swamp and after a few hours they came across a huge tree that had a door and windows, turning to the right there was an outhouse and there two ogres and a donkey. The first Ogre was a male and he was dressed in rags and the second Ogre was a female and she was wearing a purple dressed. They did not notice Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling walk up to them because they were too busy arguing.

"No!" said the female Ogre, "They just want to give you their blessing."

"Oh, great," said the male Ogre, "Now I need their blessing?"

"If you want to be a part of this family," said the female Ogre, "Yes."

"Who says I want to be part of this family?" asked the male Ogre.

"Uh, you did!" said the female Ogre, "When you married me!"

"Well," said the male Ogre, "There's some fine print for you!"

The female Ogre gasped and said:

"So that's it. You won't come?"

"Trust me," said the male Ogre, "It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final!"

"Excuse me," said Yarnell. Hearing Yarnell, the two Ogres and Donkey turned and saw Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling standing in front of them and we're a little bit surprised.

"Who are you 3?" asked the male Ogre, "And what are you doing in my Swamp?"

"I am Yarnell the Deer," said Yarnell, "This is my Guardian Ventus Skyros and my adoptive sister Deerling."

"Aww . . . she's so cute," said the female Ogre, "May I...touch her?"

Yarnell smiled and said:

"Yes."

The female Ogre reached out her hand towards Deerling. Deerling hesitated a little, but then she brought her muzzle closer to the hand.

"We are in your Swamp because of a book, Yarnell read and it opened a Portal that took us here," explained Skyros.

"Who are you Ogres?" asked Yarnell as the female Ogre stop petting Deerling.

"My name is Shrek," said the male Ogre.

"And am his wife Princess Fiona," said the female Ogre.

"I am Donkey the Noble steed," said Donkey.

"We over heard you arguing about something about being given a blessing," said Yarnell.

"It was an invention to a Royal ball," said Shrek.

"And it was from my mom and dad," said Fiona, "And they did so they could give me and Shrek their blessing."

"And I said that we are going," said Shrek firmly.

"We'll just have to," said Yarnell, "Because there is another Portal on another statue in the Kingdom of Far Far."

"And that is our ticket home," said Skyros.

"So will the both of you agree on something?" asked Deerling.

A few hours later, a carriage stopped by to pick up Shrek & Fiona, along with Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling.

"C'mon, Shrek!" called Donkey.

"We don't want to hit traffic!" called Yarnell.

Shrek hesitantly walked out of the tree house.

"Don't worry," said a Gingerbread named Gingy, "We'll take care of everything!" He, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice and the Big Bad Wolf ran inside the house and threw a party, with the song Freak Out playing.

So with Shrek & Fiona inside the carriage, Donkey on the Luggage Rack and Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling walking behind the carriage, the carriage was on it's way to the Kingdom of Far Far.


	3. The Journey to Far Far Away

**Chapter 3.**

 **The Journey to Far Far Away**

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"No," said Shrek.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"Not yet," said Fiona.

"Ok, are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"No," said Yarnell.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"No!" said Shrek starting to get annyoned.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"Yes," said Shrek.

"Really?" asked Donkey.

"No!" shouted Shrek.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"No!" said Fiona.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"No, we were not!" shouted Shrek.

"Are we there yet?" asked Donkey.

"NO!" shouted Shrek & Fiona.

"Wow," said Skyros, "It's taking forever to reach the Kingdom of Far Far."

"It sure is," agreed Yarnell, "And my legs are getting tired."

"This is taking forever, Shrek," said Donkey, "There's no in – flight movie or nothing!"

"The Kingdom of Far Far Away, Donkey," said Shrek, "That's where we're going Far, Far . . . "

And then Shrek said softly:

". . . Away!"

"All Right, All Right, I get it," said Donkey, "I'm just so darn bored."

"Well, find a way to entertain yourself," said Shrek.

Donkey sighed, he looked at Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling and then he sighed loudly, suddenly he started making Popping noises.

POP

POP

POP

Shrek sighed in annoyance and said to Donkey:

"Oh! For five minutes . . . Could you not be yourself . . . FOR FIVE MINUTES!"

And he and Fiona both looked out of the windows either on their side and Donkey's muzzle went into the carriage and went:

POP

"ARE WE THERE YET?" yelled Shrek angrily.

"Yes," chuckled Fiona.

"Oh, finally!" said Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling.

There came into view was the Kingdom of Far Far.


	4. The Kingdom of Far Far Away

**Chapter 4.**

 **The Kingdom of Far Far Away**

The carriage enterted the Kingdom of Far Far Away and Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling were amazed by it's sights.

"Wow!" said Yarnell, "This place looks amazing."

"It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on," said Donkey.

"Skyros, Deerling," said Yarnell, "It will best if we stay hidden from the King and Queen."

"Right," said Skyros and Deerling.

As Shrek and Fiona looked out at the surrondings of Far Far Away, Shrek saw a sign saying:

 **For All Your**

 **Happily Ever Afters**

 **Fairy Godmother**

"We are definitely not in the Swamp anymore," he said sadly.

People started walking towards the carriage, Fiona turned and saw that Shrek was feeling sad. She put her hand on his arm and he smiled back at her.

"Hey, ladies!" Donkey called to two women, "Nice day for a parade, huh? Yeah! You working that hat."

A huge crowd of People followed the carriage towards the castle and it made Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling to walk on the left side of the carriage. Soon the carriage enterted the castle courtyard where there was a huge crowed of cheering people and on the steps of the castle stood King Harold and Queen Lillan, when the carriage stop a man with a scroll came forward and said:

"Announcing the long – awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband."

"Well," said Fiona, "This is it."

"This is it."

"This is it."

"This is it."

Fanfares play as the man opened the door of the carriage and another man opened a box of doves as Shrek & Fiona climbed followed by Donkey, but the fanfares died down and the crowds of People gasped when they saw Shrek and Fiona, a dove hit the wall of the castle and fell to the ground, everbody just stared at Shrek and Fiona and the sound of a baby crying was heard in the distance.

"I wonder why everyone is just staring at them like that," said Skyros.

"It's because they are Ogres," said Yarnell, "You got to remember that people dislike Ogres."

"Uh . . . why don't you guys go ahead?" asked Donkey, "I'll park the car."

"Us too," said Deerling.

Donkey jumped back into the carriage and the carriage went off and Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling hurried after it.

"So," said Shrek holding Fiona's hand, "You still think this is a good idea?"

"Of course!" said Fiona, "Look! Mom and Dad look happy to see us."

"Who on earth are they?" asked King Harold.

"I think that's our little girl," said Queen Lillan.

"That's not little!" said King Harold, "That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?"

"Well," said Queen Lillan, "He's no Prince Charming, but they do look . . ."

"Happy now?" asked Shrek, "We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches."

"They're my parents," said Fiona.

"Hello?" said Shrek, "They locked you in a tower."

"Hey!" said Fiona, "That was for my own . . ."

"Good!" said King Harold, "Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home."

"Harold!" said Queen Lillan, "We have to be . . ."

"Quick," said Shrek, "While they're looking we can make a run for it."

"Shrek, stop it!" said Fiona, "Everything's gonna be . . ."

"A disaster!" said King Harold, "There is no way . . ."

"You can do this," said Fiona.

"But I really . . ." said Shrek.

"Really . . ." said King Harold.

"Really!" said Queen Lillan.

". . . Don't . . . want . . . to . . . be . . . here!"

Shrek & Fiona looked at King Harold & Queen Lillan.

"Mom . . ." said Fiona as she hugged them, "Dad . . . I'd like you to meet my husband . . . Shrek."

King Harold & Queen Lillan looked unsure at Shrek as he smiled nervously at them.

"Well, um . . ." said Shrek, "It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from."

And he chuckled nervously.

 **Later on:**

When night had fallen Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling were walking down the hall of the castle.

"Fiona's parents sure own a pretty neat castle," said Yarnell.

"They sure do," agreed Skyros.

"And it looks amazing too," said Deerling.

Just then Fiona came running angrily out of a room and into another room and she angrily closed the door. Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling looked at each other and they went in after her.


	5. The Fairy Godmother

**Chapter 5.**

 **The Fairy Godmother**

They followed the Princess to balcony, a tear fell from Fiona's face, but that was licked off by Yarnell as he, Skyros and Deerling felt sorry for her. Suddenly out of nowhere, bubbles appear around Fiona, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling. Skyros grew curious, a bubble caught him but it popped on one of Yarnell's antlers with Skyros landing on Yarnell's head. Just then there came a singing voice:

 _Your fallen tears_

 _Have called to me_

 _So, here comes my sweet remedy_

 _I know what every Princess needs_

 _For her to live life happily_

A fairy, wearing a blue dress and had her hair up, popped out of a bubble, gasped and said to Fiona:

"Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all . . . grown up."

"Um . . . Who are you?" asked Fiona.

"Oh, sweet pea!" said the Fairy, "I'm your fairy godmother."

"I thought the whole 'Fairy Godmother' thing only occurred in a story," whispered Skyros to Yarnell & Deerling.

"I thought so too," whispered Yarnell.

"Now don't worry," said the Fairy Godmother putting a hand on Fiona's shoulder, "I'm here to make it all better."

They both entered the room, and Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling quickly ran inside after them but something told Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling that there was something strange going on.

 _Wave of my magic wand_

 _Your troubles will be gone_

 _With a flick of the wrist_

 _And just flash_

 _You'll land a prince_

 _With a ton of cash_

 _A high – priced dress_

 _Made by mice no less_

 _Some crystal glass pumps_

 _And no more stress_

 _Your worries will vanish_

 _Your soul will cleanse_

 _Confide in your very own_

 _Furniture friends_

 _We'll help you set_

 _A new fashion trend_

 _I'll make you fancy_

 _I'll make you great_

 _The kind of girl_

 _The prince would date!_

 _They'll write your name_

 _On the bathroom wall_

 _For a happy ever after_

 _Give Fiona a call!_

 _A sporty carriage to ride in style_

 _Sexy man boy chauffeur, "Kyle"_

 _Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,_

 _Celluite thighs will fade away_

 _And oh, what they hey!_

 _Have a Bichon Frise!_

 _Nip and Tuck_

 _Here and There_

 _To land that prince_

 _With the perfect hair_

 _Lipstick liners, shadow blush_

 _To get the prince with the sexy tush_

 _Lucky day, hunk buffet_

 _You and your prince_

 _Take a roll in the hay_

 _You can spoon on the moon_

 _With the prince to this tune_

 _Don't be drab, you'll be fab_

 _Your prince will have rock – hards abs_

 _Cheese souffle, Valetine's Day_

 _Have some chicken fricassee!_

Not taking it anymore, Yarnell yelled at the top of his voice:

"STOP!"

"Look . . ." chuckled Fiona, "Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this."

There came gasps and indistinct mutterings.

"Fine. Be that way."

"We didn't like you, anyway."

There came knocking on the door and a familiar voice was heard:

"Fiona? Fiona?"

Shrek and Donkey came into the room as all of the funiture went back into their original spaces.

"Oh! You got a puppy?" asked Donkey, "All I got in my room was shampoo."

"Oh, uhh . . ." said Fiona, "Fairy Godmother, furniture . . . I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek."

"Your husband?" asked the Fairy Godmother, "What? What did you say? When did this happen?"

"Shrek is the one who rescued Fiona," said Yarnell.

"He's right," said Fiona.

"But that can't be right," said the Fairy Godmother.

"Oh, great, more relatives!" said Shrek.

"She's just trying to help," said Fiona.

"Good!" said Shrek, "She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving."

"What?" asked Fiona.

"Leaving?" asked Donkey, "I don't want to leave."

"Neither do I," said Yarnell.

"Nor me," said Skyros.

"Me neither," said Deerling.

"When did you decide this?" asked Fiona.

"Shortly, after arriving," said Shrek.

"Look, I'm sorry . . ." said Fiona.

"No, that's all right," said the Fairy Godmother, "I need to go, anyway. But remember dear. If you should ever need me, happiness is just a teardrop away."

"Thanks," said Shrek snatching the card, "But we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy . . ."

"So I see," chuckled the Fairy Godmother, "Let's go Kyle."

The Fairy Godmother hopped into the carriage and the carriage took off.

Yarnell looked at Donkey before looking back at Skyros and Deerling and he said:

"Come on Skyros and Deerling, let's leave them in privacty."

Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling left the room and went to find the kitchen to get something to eat. Inside the carriage, Prince Charming looked at his mom.

"Mom, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Something's been bothering me, ever since that Ogre arrived," said the Fairy Godmother, "He's been interfering with my plans. Him and a talking deer named Yarnell."

"A talking deer named Yarnell?" asked Prince Charming.

"And that deer is not alone," said the Fairy Godmother, "With him is a dark green ball and a pink fawn and that talking deer is from another world."

"What are we going to do?" asked Prince Charming.

"Well, in order for you and Fiona to be together," said the Fairy Godmother, "I need to get the Ogre and his friends out of the way!"

"And how do you plan on doing that?" asked Prince Charming.

"I'll think of something, dear," said the Fairy Godmother as the carriage took them home. Back at the castle in the dining room, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling were on their own.

"There is something about that Fairy Godmother I do not like," said Yarnell.

"Yeah," agreed Skyros, "Because there was something strange going on here."

"So what will do?" asked Deerling.

"Well, remember what the Enchantress said," said Yarnell, "The Portal leading back home to DillyDale will not open until our time here is done, and we do not go home until then."


	6. Fiona's Diary

**Chapter 6.**

 **Fiona's Diary**

Later that night in Fiona's room, Shrek had trouble sleeping. He tossed and turn, but everytime he tried to get some sleep, he would have no luck. He sighed and he got up and walked over to the fireplace. Just then, he looked over and saw a music box. He walked over, opened it quickly, taking the dairy out and opened to a page.

 _Dear Diary. . ._

 _Sleeping Beauty is having_

 _A slumber party tomorrow,_

 _But Dad says I can't go._

 _He never lets me out after sunset._

Shrek flipped to the next page.

 _Dad says I'm going away for a while._

 _Must be like some_

 _Finishing school or something._

Shrek flipped to the next page again.

 _Mom says that when I'm old enough,_

 _My handsome Prince Charming_

 _Will rescue me from my tower_

 _And bring me back to my family._

Shrek flipped to the next page again.

 _And we'll all live happily ever after._

A shocked Shrek started flipping through the pages.

 _Mrs Fiona Charming._

 _Mrs Fiona Charming._

 _Mrs Fiona Charming._

 _Mrs Fiona Charming_. . . .

Suddenly, a knock startled him. Answering the door, he saw it was King Harold.

"Sorry," he said, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, no," said Shrek, "I was just reading a, uh . . . a scary book."

"I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behaviour ealier," said King Harold.

"Ok . . ." said Shrek.

"I don't know what came over me," said King Harold, "Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over . . ."

"Look, Your Majesty," said Shrek, "I just . . ."

"Please, call me Dad," said King Harold.

"Dad," said Shrek, "We both acted like Ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other."

"Excellent idea!" said King Harold, "I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father – son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak?"


	7. Puss In Boots

**Chapter 7.**

 **Puss In Boots**

The next day, Shrek, Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling were all out in the woods.

"Face it Donkey!" said Shrek, "We're lost."

"We can't be lost," said Donkey, "We followed the King's instructions eaxctly."

"What did he say?" asked Yarnell.

"Head to the deepest, darkest part of the woods . . ." said Donkey.

"Aye," said Shrek.

"Past the sinster trees with those scary – looking branches," said Yarnell.

"Check," said Shrek.

"Yeah, and there's that bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!" said Skyros.

"We passed that bush three times already!" said Shrek.

"Hey, you were the one who said you didn't wanna stop for directions," said Deerling.

"Oh, great," said Shrek, "My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you four."

"Sheesh Shrek," said Skyros, "We are only trying to help."

"I know!" said Shrek, "I know. I'm sorry, all right?"

"Hey," said Yarnell, "Don't worry about it."

"I just really need to make things work with this guy," said Shrek.

"Yeah, sure," said Yarnell.

"Now let's go bond with Daddy," said Donkey.

There came loud purring and Shrek looked at Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling with a smile on his face.

"Well, well, well, Yarnell," he said, "I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring?"

"Us deers do not purr," said Yarnell firamly.

"Oh, sure," said Shrek, "What's next? A hug?"

Suddenly, a cat jumped down from the trees. He was wearing a belt with a sword, black boots, a hat with a feather and a black cape.

"Ha – ha! Fear me! If you dare!" said the cat hissing.

"Hey, look!" said Shrek, "A little cat."

"Look out, Shrek!" said Donkey, "He's got a piece!"

"It's a cat, Donkey," said Shrek.

"But Shrek, it does not look friendly," said Yarnell.

"Relax," said Shrek, "Come here, little kitty, kitty, kitty."

The cat took his cape and sword jumped at Shrek, showing his claws.

"AAAHHH!" screamed Shrek as the cat dug it's claws in his legs. Yarnell kicked Shrek, but in the place where you do not want to be kicked, Shrek fell to the ground in pain.

"Did I miss?" asked Yarnell.

"No," said Shrek, "You got them."

The cat jumped off Shrek's back and into his boots.

"Now, ye Ogre," said the cat putting his hat back onto his head, "Pray for mercy from . . ."

The cat carved the letter 'P' in the tree with his sword.

". . . Puss . . . In Boots."

"Ooh!" said Shrek, "I'll kill that cat!"

Puss started to laugh, but immediately dropped to the ground. He was coughing and choking, which made Yarnell and Deerling turn away. Puss coughed up a hairball, which made Skyros groan.

"Heh heh. Hairball," chuckled Puss.

"Oh!" said Donkey, "That is nasty!"

"Nasty just like the Hairballs Muhammad the Cat coughs up back home," said Skyros.

Shrek walked over and grabbed Puss by the fur.

"What do you four reckon we should do with him?" he asked Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling.

"I say we take the sword and neuter him right here," said Donkey, "Give him the Bob Barker treatment."

"Oh, no! _Por favor_!" sobbed Puss, "Please, I implore you! It was nothing personal, _Senor._ I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbarge! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers . . ."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" said Yarnell, "King Harold paid you to do this?"

"The Rich King?" asked Puss, " _Si_."

Shrek dropped Puss and sighed.

"Well," he said, "So much for Dad's royal blessing."

"Come on, Shrek," said Donkey, "Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you."

"Yeah," agreed Deerling.

"Gee, thanks," said Shrek walking over to a stream and looking down at the water, "Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming."

"That's what the King said," said Puss, which made Deerling give him a glare.

"Shrek," said Yarnell, "Fiona knows you'd do anything for her."

"Well," said Shrek, "It's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just . . . I just wish I could make her happy."

Suddenly an idea came to Shrek's head.

"Hold the phone . . ." he said and pulled out the Fairy Godmother's card, "Happiness. A tear drop away. Yarnell! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!"

"Okay," said Yarnell and he started thinking. He about the time his own beloved Grandmother got haunted and killed by Man and the more he thought about it, his eyes began to grow watery. A tear fell from his face, dripping onto the card. Wiping his eyes, he saw a bubble with the Fairy Godmother appear.

 _What? Is it no? Is it no?_

 _This Fairy Godmother._

 _I'm either away from my desk or with_

 _A client. But if you come by the office,_

 _We'll be glad to make you_

 _A perssnal appointment._

 _Have a "Happy Ever After."_

Suddenly, the bubble popped.

"Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros, Deerling. Are you up for a little quest?" asked Shrek.

"All right," said Donkey, "That's more like it! Shrek, Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling on another whirlwind adventure!"

 _Ain't no stoppin' us now!_

 _Whoo! We're on the move!_

"Stop, Ogre!" said Puss, "I have misjudged you."

"Join the club," said Shrek.

"We've got jackets," said Skyros.

"On my honour," said Puss, "I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine."

"I'm sorry," said Donkey, "The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken."

"Let's go, Shrek," said Yarnell.

"Shrek?" asked Skyros.

Shrek walked over, seeing how innocent he looked. Puss had his ears back, and his eyes were widened, making the cutest face he has ever seen.

"Shrek!" exclaimed Deerling.

"Aw, come on, Deerling," said Shrek, "Look at him . . . in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Let's keep him!"

"Say what?" asked Yarnell.

Puss purred as Shrek stroked him. Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling groaned.

"Aw, listen," said Shrek as he put Puss on his shoulder, "He's purring!"

"Okay, we can keep him," said Skyros.

"But if he coughs up more hairballs," said Yarnell.

"That is your problem," said Deerling.

The gang countined on their way to see the Fairy Godmother.


	8. The Potion Factory

**Chapter 8.**

 **The Potion Factory**

As they walked on Puss whispered indistinctly, Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling still did not trust the cat one bit. They soon came to where the Fairy Godmother lived and were surprised to see it was a huge a factory and a small cottage.

"Oh, no," said Donkey, "That's the old Keebler's place. Let's just back away slowly."

"That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage," said Puss.

"But what's the huge Factory for?" asked Yarnell.

"She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the Whole Kingdom," explained Puss.

"Then why don't we pop in there for a spell?" asked Shrek and he chuckled:

"Spell."

And Puss burst into hysterical laughter and said:

"He makes me laugh."

They enterted the office. Inside, there was a huge waiting room filled with chairs and two portraits of Fairy Godmother. They saw a man at the front desk.

"Hi," said Shrek, "I'm here to see the . . ."

"The Fairy Godmother," said the man, "I'm sorry. She is not in."

The Fairy Godmother's voice came over the speaker.

 _Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!_

"Yes, Fairy Godmother," said Jerome, "Right away. Look, she's not seeing any clients, OK?"

"That's OK, buddy," said Yarnell, "We're from the union."

"The union?" asked Jerome.

"We represent the workers in all magical industries," said Shrek.

"Both evil and benign," said Yarnell and Deerling nodded in agreement.

"Oh! Right," said Jerome.

"Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?" asked Shrek.

"Uh . . . a little," said Jerome, "We don't even have dental."

"They don't even have dental," Shrek mutterted to Deerling and Donkey.

"OK," said Yarnell, "We're just gonna have a look around."

"Oh, by the way," said Shrek, "I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?"

"Huh? Huh? Huh?" said Donkey.

"Stop it," said Skyros.

"Of course," whispered Jerome, "Go right in."

Once inside, Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling looked around. Millions of workers were making potions, bottles, testing out spells and checking to see if the potions were OK for the Potion Room. Turning around, they all saw a bright colored lights. Shrek lead them to the room.

Inside the room, the Fairy Godmother was making a love potion. Suddenly, Shrek and his friends appeared, that startled her.

"Excuse me," said Shrek, "Sorry to barge in like this, but . . ."

"What in Grimm's name are you doing here?" asked the Fairy Godmother.

"Well . . ." said Shrek, "It seems that Fiona's not exactly happy."

"Oh – ho – ho!" laughed the Fairy Godmother, "And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we?"

The Fairy Godmother flew to her book shelf and started looking through her books.

"Ah . . . P, p, p . . . Princess. _Cinderella._ Here we are. "Lived happily ever after." Oh . . . No ogres! Let's see. _Snow White_. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. _Sleeping Beauty_. Oh, no ogres! _Hansel and Gretel_? No! _Thumbelina_? No. _The Golden Bird_ , _The Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman_ . . . No, no, no, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after."

"All right," said Shrek angrily, "Look, lady!"

"Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me!" snapped the Fairy Godmother.

"Monte Cristo and coffee," said a Worker rolling in a cart, "Oh! Sorry."

"Ah . . ." said Yarnell, "That's OK. We were just leaving."

"Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother," said Shrek.

"Just go," said the Fairy Godmother.

"Come on, guys," said Shrek and he, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling walked out of the room. Outside, Shrek hid inside a janitor's closet. Grabbing a worker that passed, he and Yarnell both walked out with Shrek wearing a disguise. Entering the potion room, Shrek unlocked the cart, where Donkey and Deerling were and Puss and Skyros jumped out of Yarnell's Saddlebag [that because Yarnell had his Saddlebag the whole time]. Potions covered the entire shelves.

"Well," said Shrek, "One of these has got to help."

"Me and Skyros were just concocting this very plan!" said Puss.

"Already our minds are becoming one," said Skyros.

"Donkey, Yarnell, Deerling go keep watch," said Shrek, "Puss, Skyros, do you guys think you can get to the ones on top?"

"No _problema,_ boss," said Puss.

"You just leave it to us," said Skyros. Puss took off his sword, hat and boots and jumped on top, while Skyros floated all the way to the very top.

"Hey, Puss!" said Skyros, "Look at this."

"Hey!" said Puss, "How about 'Happily Ever After'?"

"Well," said Shrek, "What does it do?"

"It says "Beauty Divine," said Skyros.

"Guys!" said Yarnell, "We need to hurry!"

"Because two employees have spotted us," said Deerling.

"That'll have to do!" said Shrek, "We've got company!"

Puss used one of his claws to scratch the glass and tried to pull the potion out, he kept on struggling until the glass finally broke. However, the potion went flying and so did Puss! Donkey caught the potion in his mouth, while Puss landed in his boots. Suddenly, a huge wall came falling down. Shrek grabbed Puss and Donkey along with Deerling catching Skyros. They slid under the wall just in time before it came down.

"Uh – oh!" said Donkey, "We've got company!

Men carrying crossbows began shooting tons of arrows at the group, but Shrek dodged them with ease.

"That's it!" shouted Skyros, "I've enough of this!"

He suddenly formed into a large black and green phoenix with a feather that resamples a horn on his forehead. His back reached the ceiling but he still had enough room to move, all of the guards and workers gasped and quickly retreated.

"Skyros," shouted Yarnell, "Knock down that huge container of Potion."

With all his strengh, Skyros tipped over the huge container with Purple Potion, sending a huge wave over the factory workers.

After Skyros turned back into his ball form, he, Shrek, Puss, Donkey, Yarnell and Deerling ran out of the factory. Meanwhile the Fairy Godmother came inside.

"Look," she said, "I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up."

"Yes, Godmother."

"And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate?" asked the Fairy Godmother.

"Mother," said Prince Charming coming in.

"Charming. Sweetheart," said the Fairy Godmother, "This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working."

"Whoa," said Prince Charming, "What happened here?"

"The ogre," said the Fairy Godmother, "That's what!"

"What?" said Prince Charming, "Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my Kingdom from me!"

"Oh, put it away, junior!" said the Fairy Godmother, "You're still gonna be king. We're just gonna have to come up with something smarther, that's all."

"Pardon," said a Dove, "Um . . . Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, execpt for one Potion."

"What?" asked the Fairy Godmother, "Oh . . . I do believe we can make this work to our advantage."


	9. The Happily Ever After Potion

**Chapter 9.**

 **The Happily Ever After Potion**

Meanwhile, while walking in the woods, Shrek read the Potion.

"Happily Ever After Potiom. Maxium strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."

"You both will be fine?" asked Donkey.

"What the hell does that mean?" asked Yarnell.

"I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too," said Shrek and he popped the top off.

"Shrek, This does not feel right," said Skyros, "My Bakugan senses are tingling all over. Why don't you drop that jug 'o' voodoo and let's get out of here."

"I agree with the Phoenix," said Donkey.

"It says "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be?" asked Shrek. He sniffed the Potion and then sneezed and snot hit a mushrooom.

"Eew," groaned Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling in digust.

"Ah – ah!" said Donkey, "See, you're allegic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction. And if you think that me and Yarnell are gonna be smearing VapoRub all over your chest, think again!"

"Boss," said Puss, "Just in case there is something wrong with the Potion, allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you."

"Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so," said Donkey, "If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle."

Donkey snachted the bottle from Shrek, took a few guzzles before Shrek snachted it back.

"How do you feel?" asked Shrek.

"I don't feel any different," said Donkey, "I look any different?"

"You still look like an ass to me," said Puss.

"Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys," said Yarnell.

"Well . . ." said Shrek, "Here's to us, Fiona!"

"Shrek!" said Donkey, "You drink that, there's no going back."

"I know," said Shrek.

"But, no more wallowing in the mud?" asked Skyros.

"I know," said Shrek.

"No more itchy butt crack?" asked Donkey.

"I know!" said Shrek.

"But you love being ogre!" said Deerling.

"I KNOW!" shouted Shrek, "But I love Fiona more."

"Shrek, no! Wait!" said Yarnell as Shrek drank the entire Potion, there came gurgling inside Shrek's tummy. Donkey, Puss and Skyros hid behind a log while Yarnell and Deerling ducked into a cowering Postions but instead of a flash of light infront of them, a fart came out of Shrek's butt.

"Whoo . . ." said Donkey, "Got to be . . . Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" Potion."

"Maybe it doesn't work on ogres either," said Deerling.

"Or maybe Fiona and I were never mean't to be," said Shrek sadly.

"At least it wasn't one of Ainsleigh's very bad stinky farts back home," Yarnell whispered to Skyros.

Thunder rumbled as the sky darkened with rain.

"Uh – oh," said Donkey, "What did I tell you? I think I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"

Soon it began to pour down with rain.

"Oh, sweet sister," said Donkey, "Mother of mercy. I'm melting! I'm melting!"

"It's just the rain, Donkey," said Shrek.

"Let's go find somewhere to shelter," said Yarnell.

After following a trail, Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling came up on an abandoned barn. Shrek quickly opened the door and they all ran inside. Shrek looked at the castle that was in the distance, he looked at Donkey and he petted him, he then looked at Yarnell and Skyros and petted Yarnell too and he then looked at Deerling and petted her too and Puss was trying to get his hat dry.

"Shrek, don't worry," said Donkey, "Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you."

Puss hissed

"It'll be better in the morning," said Donkey, "You'll see."

"Sure it will," said Yanell.

"Yeah," agreed Skyros and Deerling.

 _The Sun will come out_

 _Tomorrow . . ._

 _Bet your bottom . . ._

"Bet my bottom?" asked Shrek.

"I'm coming, Elizabeth!" said Donkey and he collasped to the ground in a coma.

"Donkey?" asked Shrek starting to feel woozy, "Are . . . Are you all right?"

"Hey, boss," said Puss, "Let's shave him."

"Donkey?" said Shrek weairly.

"Are you all right, Shrek?" asked Yarnell with concernment.

Shrek did not answer, he fell to the ground, right on top of Puss, who let out a yowl.

Meanwhile back in the castle, King Harold & Queen Lillan were in a room when Fiona showed up.

"There you are!" said King Harold, "We missed you at dinner."

"What is it, darling?" asked Queen Lillan.

"Dad . . ." said Fiona, "I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right."

"Ah! Excellent!" said King Harold, "That's my girl."

"It was a mistake to bring Shrek here," said Fiona, "I'm going to go out and find him. And then we're gonna go back to the swamp where we belong."

Fiona then went out of the room, took a suitcase and headed for the doors of the castle while her parents tried to catch up with her.

"Fiona, please!" begged Queen Lillan.

"Let's not be rash, darling," said King Harold, "You can't go anywhere right now."

Just as Fiona opened the doors of the castle, she suddenly fell to the floor in a faint.

"Fiona . . ." said King Harold.

"Fiona!" said Queen Lillan.


	10. Transformation

**Chapter 10.**

 **Transformation**

The morning came and inside the barn Shrek woke up to the sounds of whispers.

"Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Shh! Quiet. Look at him."

Shrek groaned.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," said the First Woman. Shrek got up onto his feet.

"Good morning!" said the First Woman.

"Good morning!" said the Second Woman.

"We love your kitty!" said the Third Woman who was holding Puss.

"Oh, my head . . ." groaned Shrek. And he turned to see Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling staring at him with astonshing looks on their faces.

"Yarnell," said Shrek, "Why are you, Skyros and Deerling looking at me like that?"

"Well . . . it's just," stuttered Yarnell, "That you are not yourself."

"What do you mean I am not myself?" asked Shrek.

"Here," said the First Woman, "I fetched you a pail of water."

"Ah . . . thanks," said Shrek, looking down at his hands, but they were not green at all and they we're human hands. Shrek grew shocked and looked at his reflection, seeing that he was now a human and he now knew what Yarnell mean't by Shrek not being himself.

Shrek dropped the water pail and felt his face.

"A cute button nose?" asked Shrek touching his nose.

"Thick, way locks?" he asked touching his head.

"Taut, round buttocks?" he asked touching his bottom, "I'm . . . I'm . . ."

"Gorgeous!" said the First woman.

"I'll say," said the Second woman.

"I'm Jill," said the First Woman, "What's your name?"

"Um . . . Shrek," said Shrek.

"Shrek," said Yarnell, "While you and Donkey were in a coma last night, the Happily Ever After Potion changed you into a human."

"And Donkey into a white stallion," said Skyros.

"Who are you calling Donkey?" asked a Voice. They all turned and saw Donkey had changed into a white stallion.

"Donkey?" asked Shrek, "You're a . . ."

"A stallion, baby!" said Donkey, "I can whinny. I can count. Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! That's some quality Potion. What's in that stuff."

"Oh, don't take the Potion, Mr Boss, it's very bad," mocked Puss before picking up the Potion bottle and started reading a Waring note on the inside of the bottle.

"Warnig: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders. To make the effects of this Potion permanent the drinker must obtain his True Love's kiss by midnight."

Shrek took the bottle from Puss.

"Midnight?" he asked, "Why is it always midnight?"

"Pick me!" begged the Second Woman, "I'll be your True Love!"

"I'll be your True Love," said Jill.

"I'll be true . . ." said the Third Woman, "Enough."

"Sorry Ladies," said Yarnell, "Shrek is already married."

"Oh . . ." groaned the Ladies disappointly.

"And take it from me, Boss," said Puss, "You are going to have one satisfied Princess."

"You certainly will," agreed Yarnell and Skyros.

"And let's face it," said Donkey, "You are a lot easier on the eyes. But inside you're still the same old mean, salty . . . cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been."

"And you're still the same annoying donkey," said Shrek.

"Yeah," said Donkey.

"Well . . ." said Shrek, "Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me."

And his trousers fell down.

"First things first," said Yarnell.

"We need to get you out of those clothes," said Skyros.

The Ladies gasped. Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling left the Barn and hid behind a stone bridge, waiting to rob passing by Carriage.

"Ready?" asked Shrek.

"Ready!" said Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling. Deerling got out from behind the stone bridge laid on the ground like a dead animal and as soon the carriage bumped over her a man said:

"Driver, stop!"

He saw Deerling lying on the ground and quickly rushed over to her.

"Oh, you poor creature!" he exclaimed, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Puss jumped on her and aimed his sword at the man and said:

"Take off the powered wig and step away from your drawers."

Soon Shrek was dressed in the man's clothes and it caused Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling to burst into hysterical laughter. Soon after robbing another man of his clothes, they all headed off to the castle for Fiona.


	11. Tricked

**Chapter 11.**

 **Tricked**

Arriving back in Far Far Away, Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling went back to the castle and Shrek told two guards:

"Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her."

Suddenly there came the sound of a women screaming.

"FIONA!" shouted Shrek.

"Shrek?" wondered the now – human Fiona.

Shrek jumped off Donkey and ran into the castle to find Fiona. He came to Fiona's room and opened the door.

"Fiona!" said Shrek. But he saw it was not Fiona, the person in front of him was cloaked and did not have feet.

"Hello, handsome," said the Fairy Godmother taking her cloak off.

Meanwhile Fiona came outside still looking for Shrek.

"Shrek!" said Fiona.

"Princess!" said Donkey.

Fiona gasped and turned to Donkey.

"Donkey?" she asked.

"Wow!" said Donkey, "That Potion worked on you, too?"

"What Potion?" asked Fiona.

"You see," said Yarnell, "Me, Skyros, Deerling, Shrek, Puss and Donkey went to the Fairy Godmother's Potion Factory and we got a bottle of Happily Ever After Potion and it turned Shrek into a human."

"Donkey into a white Horse," said Skyros.

"And you into a human too," said Deerling.

"Yarnell, where is Shrek?" asked Fiona.

"He went inside looking fot you," said Yarnell. Fiona went back into the castle and countined on searching for Shrek.

"Shrek!" shouted Fiona.

"Fiona!" said Shrek, "Fiona!"

Shrek tried going out of Fiona's room but the Fairy Godmother used her magic to closed the doors and a chest of drawers stood in his way.

"You wanna dance, pretty boy?" it asked.

Shrek tried running out onto the balcony but the Fairy Godmother used her magic to closed the doors, causing Shrek to stop.

"Are you going so soon?" she asked him, "Don't you want to see your wife?"

Meanwhile Fiona was still looking for Shrek when she heard a voice say her name:

"Fiona?"

She saw Prince Charming just outside a balcony and learning on the stone wall.

"Shrek?" asked Fiona.

"Aye, Fiona," said Prince Charming, "It is me."

"What happened to your voice?" asked Fiona.

"Uh . . ." said Prince Charming, "The Potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you."

Fiona's Parnets showed up.

"Fiona?" asked Queen Lillan.

"Charming?" asked King Harold.

"Do you think so?" chuckled Prince Charming, "Dad? I was so hoping you'd approve."

"Um . . ." said Queen Lillan, "Who are you?"

"Mom," said Prince Charming, "It's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression but, well, what do you think?"

As Prince Charming hugged Fiona from Fiona's bedroom window the real Shrek was shouting out:

"Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fiona!"

"Fiona! Fiona! Ho – ho – ho!" mocked the Fairy Godmother, "Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough?"

"I just wanted her to be happy," said Shrek sadly.

"And now she can be," said the Fairy Godmother, "Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the Prince of her dreams."

"But look at me," said Shrek, "Look what I've done for her."

"It's time you stop living in a Fairy Tale, Shrek," said the Fairy Godmother, "She's a Princess. And you're an ogre. That's something no amount of Potion is ever going to change."

"But . . ." said Shrek, "I love her."

"If you really love her . . ." said the Fairy Godmother, "You'll let her go."

Shrek sadly walked out of the castle and back to the place where Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling were waiting for him.

"Shrek?" asked Donkey.

" _Senor_!" said Puss.

"Hey," said Yarnell, "What's going on?"

"Where are you going?" asked Skyros.

Back inside the castle, King Harold and Queen Lillan watched Prince Charming and Fiona walked down the hall of castle and Queen Lillan asked King Harold:

"You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold?"

Back outside Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling sadly walked away from Far Far Away and went to the Posion Apple.


	12. The Love Potion

**Chapter 12.**

 **The Love Potion**

"There you go, boys," said the Ugly Stepsister placing a bottle of milk on the bar.

"Just leave the bottle, Doris," said Puss.

"Hey!" said Doris, "Why the long face?"

"It was all just a stupid mistake," said Shrek, "I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place."

"I hate Mondays," said Puss.

"I can't believe you're gonna just away from the best thing that ever happened to you," said Donkey.

"What choice do I have?" asked Shrek, "She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming."

"Aw, come on," said Yarnell, "Is he really that good – looking?"

"Are you kidding?" asked Doris, "He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels."

"Oh," said Puss, "He sounds dreamy."

"You know," said Shrek, "Shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins."

"Execpt for you," said Yarnell.

"I don't get it, Shrek," said Skyros.

"You love Fiona," said Deerling.

"Aye," said Shrek, "And that's why I have to let her go."

Suddenly behind them, there was a cloaked man, it was King Harold and he was asking something to Doris:

"Um . . . Excuse me, is she here?"

"She's in the back," said Doris.

Shrek looked at his friends curiously. Inside a room, King Harold met with the Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming.

"Uh, Fairy Godmother. Charming," said King Harold.

"Oh," said the Fairy Godmother, "You better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold."

"Well . . ." said King Harold, "I'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to Prince Charming."

"FYI," said Prince Charming, "Not my fault."

"No, of course it's not, dear," said the Fairy Godmother.

"I mean," said Prince Charming, "How Charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre?"

"No! No," said King Harold, "It's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off. OK?"

"WHAT?" shouted the Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming.

"You can't force someone to fall in love!" said King Harold.

"I beg to differ," said the Fairy Godmother, "I do it all the time!"

She took out a bottle of Potion, gave it to King Harold and said to him:

"Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man kisses. Which will be Charming."

"Um . . . No," said King Harold.

"What did you say?" asked the Fairy Godmother.

"I can't," said King Harold, "I won't do it."

"Oh, yes, you will," said the Fairy Godmother, "If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. Is that what you want? Is it?"

"N . . . No," said King Harold.

"Good boy," said the Fairy Godmother, "Now we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair."

"Oh," said Prince Charming, "Thank you, Mother."

"Mother?" shouted a Voice. King Harold, Prince Charming and the Fairy Godmother turned and saw Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling.

"Um . . . Mary!" said Shrek, "A talking horse!"

"The ogre!" exclaimed the Fairy Godmother.

Shrek and Puss jumped onto Donkey and Donkey galloped off with the Guards chasing after them and the Fairy Godmother shouted:

"STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!"

Still hiding Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling watched the Guards chase after Shrek, Donkey and Puss.

"Let's go back to Shrek's swamp and get help," said Yarnell.

"Good idea," said Skyros and Deerling. Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling left the Poison Apple and ran off in the direction that lead to Shrek's swamp.


	13. Getting Help

**Chapter 13.**

 **Getting Help**

Meanwhile, back at the swamp, Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice and the Big Bad Wolf were watching the coverage of the Far Far Away on the magic mirror. Gingy was getting bored with these dance shows on.

"I hate these ball shows," he said, "They bore me to tears. Flip over to _Wheel of Torture_!"

"I'm not flipping anywhere, sir," said Pinocchio, "Until I see Shrek and Fiona."

"Ah, whizzes on you guys," said Gingy, "Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! No, to your left. Your left!"

A buffalo wing went flying over Gingy and landed in the fish bowl, Gingy sighed and shook his head. Suddenly, the door burst opened. Everbody gasped and turned to see Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling standing there.

"Hey!" said Pinocchio, "Who are you 3?"

"Hey, I've seen them before!" said the Big Bad Wolf, "They are with Shrek! I think the deer's name's is Yarnell and that dark green ball is his Guardian Ventus Skyros and that pink fawn is his adoptive sister Deerling."

"We need your help, you guys!" said Yarnell.

"You're Shrek's friends, right?" asked Skyros.

"What do you mean you need our help?" asked Gingy.

"Shrek and Fiona took Donkey, Me, Skyros and Deerling along to meet Fiona's parents," said Yarnell.

"But everything went awful when the Fairy Godmother showed up," said Skyros.

"The Fairy Godmother wants to get rid of Shrek so she can get her son, Prince Charming, to marry Fiona," said Deerling.

"So we tried to listen in on her plan," said Yarnell.

"But we were spotted and now the knights have captured Shrek!" said Skyros.

Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice and the Big Bad Wolf looked at each other with their mouths gaped.

"You mean Shrek's been captured?" asked Gingy.

"Yes!" said Skyros, "But we do not know where they are being held."

"Hey," said Pinocchio, "I think I know where they're at."

The others looked at the puppet.


	14. Freeing Shrek, Donkey & Puss

**Chapter 14.**

 **Freeing Shrek, Donkey & Puss**

Inside a dungeon, Shrek, Donkey and Puss were chained against a wall and Donkey was chained upside down and was going on about his Miranda Rights.

"I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda Rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!"

"Donkey," snapped Shrek, "You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity."

"I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad," said Puss.

"SHREK! DONKEY! PUSS!" shouted a voice. Shrek, Donkey and Puss looked up to see Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling along with Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice and the Big Bad Wolf.

"Too late," said Puss.

"Yarnell!" said Shrek, "Get us out of here!"

A blind mouse lit a match but fell into the cell, one of the Three Little Pigs lit the dynamite and shouted:

"Fire in the hole!"

The cell opening blew up and Pinocchio went on in. However, he got all tangled up in the ropes that he had. Gingy sighed.

"Look out below!" he called as he slid down.

"Quick!" said Shrek, "Tell a lie!"

"What should I say?" asked Pinocchio.

"Anything," said Gingy, "But quick!"

"Say something crazy," said Donkey, "Like, "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"

"I, uh, am wearing ladies' underwear," said Pinocchio.

"Are you?" asked Shrek.

"I most certainly am not!" said Pinocchio his nose grew long.

"It looks like you most certainly am are!" said Donkey.

"I am not!" said Pinocchio his nose grew even longer.

"What kind?" asked Puss.

"It's a thong!" said Gingy.

"Ow!" screamed Pinocchio, "They're briefs!"

After Pinocchio's nose kept on growing, Gingy was able to free them all.

"Excuse me?" said a muffled voice.

"What?" asked Shrek, "Puss!"

Puss spat the blind mouse and said quickly:

"Sorry, boss."

"Quit messing around!" said Shrek, "We've got to stop that kiss!"

"I thought you were going to let her go!" shouted Yarnell from above.

"I was," said Shrek, "But I can't let them do this to Fiona."

"Boom!" said Donkey, "That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!"

"It's impossible!" said Puss, "We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything and how are we going to get out of here?"

"Leave that part to me!" shouted Skyros. He transformed into his huge bakugan form. Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice and the Big Bad Wolf grew shocked to see Skyros so big.

"Here we go!" shouted Yarnell.

Skyros reached in, picked them up and soon the whole gang were off to stop the Fairy Godmother and rescue Fiona.


	15. I Need A Hero

**Chapter 15.**

 **I Need A Hero**

At the Castle, Fiona and Prince Charming were getting ready to dance.

"Ladies & Gentlemen," said an Announcer, "Presenting: Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek!"

Prince Charming blew kisses to the cheering audience.

"Shrek," said Fiona, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just playing the part, Fiona," said Prince Charming.

"Is that glitter on your lips?" asked Fiona.

"Mmm . . . Cherry flavoured," said Prince Charming, "Want to taste?"

"Ugh!" said Fiona disgustedly, "What is with you?"

"But, Muffin Cake . . ." said Prince Charming and looked at the Fairy Godmother, who needed to come up with something.

"C Minor," she said, "Put it in C Minor. Ladies and gentlemen . . . I'd like to dedicate this song to Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek."

"Fiona," said Prince Charming, "My Princess. Will you honour me with a dance?"

 _Where have all the good men gone_

 _And where are all the gods?_

 _Where's the streetwise Hercules_

 _To fight the rising odds?_

"Since when do you dance?" asked Fiona.

"Fion, my dearest . . ." chuckled Prince Charming, "If there's one thing I know, it's all that love is full of surprises."

 _Late at night I toss and I turn_

 _And I dream of what I need . . ._

"Hit!" said the Fairy Godmother.

 _I need a hero!_

Outside, Skyros lead Shrek to the castle.

"All right, Skyros!" said Shrek, "Let's crash this party!"

"Man the catapults!" yelled a Guard. The Guards loaded a catapult with a huge flaming boulder but Skyros dodged it.

"Skyros!" shouted Yarnell, "Use Destruction Meteor Storm and lower the gate!"

Skyros did as he was told and the castle gate lowered.

"All right!" said Donkey.

"C'mon!" said Shrek as Skyros turned back into his ball form and Shrek hopped on Donkey, heading for the party. Suddenly, Puss hopped off when he spotted guards coming.

"Puss!" said Shrek when he, Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling looked back.

"Go! Go!" said Puss, "Your lady needs you! Go!"

Shrek headed off while Puss took care of the Guards.


	16. Deerling Evolves Into Sawsbuck

**Chapter 16.**

 **Deerling Evolves Into Sawsbuck**

On the dance floor, Prince Charming was about to kiss Fiona, when Shrek, Donkey, Yarnell, Skyros and Deerling came bursting in. The Fairy Godmother stopped singing and grew furious.

"Hey You!" said Shrek, "Back away from my wife."

"Shrek?" asked Fiona.

"You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone," said the Fairy Godmother.

"Now!" shouted Yarnell.

The Three Little Pigs took a blanket and hopped in it, which made one of them grab onto the Fairy Godmother's leg.

"Pinocchio!" said Shrek, "Get the wand!"

Shrek threw Pinocchio, Pinocchio tried to grab the wand, but the Fairy Godmother turned him into a real boy, which caused him to grow ecstatic.

"Skyros!" said Yarnell, "Help them out!"

Skyros transformed into his huge bakugan form, which made some people go running. The Fairy Godmother gasped, and Skyros let out a loud Phoenix roar that made the Fairy Godmother drop her wand and go flying very far. Deerling grabbed the wand and threw it to Gingy and Gingy threw it to the mice, who did not catch it.

Pinocchio was changed back into a puppet, much to his disappointment. The Fairy Godmother was able to make her way back to the party, and saw her wand on the ground. Shrek saw it too and they both went after it.

"That's mine! That's mine!" said the Fairy Godmother as she grabbed it, but Shrek smacked it out of her hands. Yarnell caught it.

"Pray for mercy, from Yarnell . . ." said Donkey.

"And Puss!" said Puss.

"She's taken the Potion!" said the Fairy Godmother, "Kiss her now!"

Prince Charming quickly took Fiona and kissed her.

"No!" said Shrek as he fell to his knees. Yarnell gasped in shock, along with Donkey. Skyros and Deerling saw it and gasped. After they broke from the kiss, Fiona opened her eyes. Shrek looked away in defeat and Prince Charming smiled at Fiona. Fiona smiled back and put her hands to his face, only to give him a nice head butt! Prince Charming fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Fiona . . ." said Shrek.

"Shrek," said Fiona.

"Harold!" said the Fairy Godmother, "You were supposed to give her the Potion!"

"Well," said King Harold, "I guess I gave her the wrong tea."

"Mommy!" shouted Prince Charming snatching the wand from Yarnell and throwing it to the Fairy Godmother.

"Mommy?" asked Fiona.

"I told you Ogres don't live happily ever after," snapped the Fairy Godmother. She pointed her wand straight at Shrek, and a huge lightning bolt came out. King Harold step in front of him. The King screamed and his armour reflected the light at Deerling and it slammed her to the ground.

"DEERLING!" screamed Yarnell.

Deerling got up, but suddenly something Amazing happened. Deerling started to glow, Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss, Queen Lillan, Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice, the Big Bad Wolf and all of the People were shocked even the Fairy Godmother was shocked at what was happenig to Deerling.

Yarnell and Skyros, however, were calmed about it because they knew Deerling was enolving. When the light faded away, there standing in Deerling's place stood a brown and cream deer-like Pokémon with rhomboid ears and darker ear insides, its eyes have light-orange markings that curve down to sides of its face. It has a dark-brown nose, and it sports cream fur on its chin and sides of its face. Light-orange stripes rim its underbelly, and its back is decorated with spots. Also there was a tuft of cream fur on its chest, and its antlers are adorned with pink flowers.

"Deerling," said Shrek, "What happened to you?"

"I am not Deerling anymore," said the brown and cream deer-like Pokémon, "I am now Sawsbuck!"

"Sawsbuck is the enovled form of Deerling," explained Yarnell.

Sawsbuck turned to her attention towards the Fairy Godmother.

"Now," she said, "It's time I got rid of you for good."

Sawsbuck's antlers started to glow and a Solar Beam came out. The Fairy Godmother gasped as she received a hit from the Solar Beam. She gasped and disappeared into a lot of bubbles. Her glasses and wand fell to the ground. Skyros turned back into his ball form and sat back on Yarnell's head.

"Dad . . ." said Fiona, running over. Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck gasped when they saw the King's armour there and not the King.

"Is he . . ." asked Pinocchio.

"Yup," said Sawsbuck.

Suddenly, they heard a croak. King Harold emerged, now in the form of a frog.

"He's a frog?" asked Skyros.

"Harold?" asked Queen Lillan.

"Dad?" asked Fiona.

"I'd hoped you'd never see me like this," said King Harold.

"Hey," said Yarnell, "And he gave you a hard time!"

"Yarnell!" snapped Shrek.

"No, no, he's right," said King Harold, "I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now . . . she already has it. Shrek, Fiona . . . will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?"

"Harold . . ." said Queen Lillan.

"I'm sorry, Lillan," said King Harold "I just wish I could be the man you deserve."

He was about to hop away, but Queen Lillan caught him.

"You're more that man today than you ever were," she said to him, "Warts and all."

King Harold croaked again.


	17. Goodbye

**Chapter 17.**

 **Goodbye**

Sudddenly, the clock stroke midnight.

"Shrek!" said Yarnell, "The Happily Ever After Potion!"

"Midnight!" said Shrek, "Fiona . . . is this what you want? To be this way forever?"

"What?" asked Fiona.

"Because if you kiss me now . . ." said Shrek, ". . . We can stay like this."

"You'd do that?" asked Fiona, "For me?"

"Yes," said Shrek.

Fiona looked at her mom, then back at her husband.

"I want what any Princess wants," said Fiona, "To live happily ever after . . ."

Shrek was about to kiss Fiona but she stopped him and said:

". . . With the ogre I married."

"Whatever happens," said Puss, "I must not cry! You cannot make me cry!"

Suddenly, they started to light up, along with Donkey. Soon, they were back to their true selves. Donkey was saddened that he was no longer a stallion.

"Hey . . ." laughed Shrek, ". . . You still look like a noble steed to me."

Donkey smiled when he heard this. Suddenly there came another flash of light, everyone turned to another statue and it was of King Harold and Queen Lillan and on the soild surface of the statue another Portal had opened.

"What was that?" asked Gingy.

"It is the Portal," said Yarnell.

"It has opened," said Skyros.

"And it means it's time for me, Yarnell and Skyros to go home," said Sawsbuck.

"So this is goodbye?" asked Shrek.

"I'm afraid it is," said Skyros sadly.

Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss, Queen Lillan, King Harold, Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice anf the Big Bad Wolf looked down with a hint that they are sad and they embraced Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck into a group huge.

"Goodbye Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck," said Shrek.

"It was really amazing to see your Deerling evolve into a Sawsbuck," said Pinocchio.

"And I hope we get to see you 3 again someday," said Donkey.

"Come on," said Skyros, "We'd better get going."

"I know we've only been friends for a short time," said Yarnell to Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss, Queen Lillan, King Harold, Gingy, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice anf the Big Bad Wolf, "But me, Skyros and Sawsbuck are gonna miss all of you so much."

Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck began to walk towards the portal, they stopped for a moment to look back at their friends for the very last time and continued on through the portal. Suddenly there another flash of light and after that flash of light had gone away, Pinocchio frantically ran to the portal, only to bump into a plain old mirror, leaving him in a brief daze as he fell to the ground and on his butt.

"Oh, bummer," said Pinocchio, defeated.


	18. Returning Home

**Chapter 18.**

 **Returning Home**

Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck went travelling back across Worlds and soon they came out of the Portal and they were back at the Wildlife Comperhensive High School and it was home time because there were Students climbing onto the Penguin Express and Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck climbed onto the bus and they talked about the adventure they had.

"That adventure sure was fun," said Yarnell.

"Yeah," agreed Skyros, "I liked the bit where I tipped over that huge container of Purple Potion."

"And I liked the bit where I destroyed that Fairy Godmother with my Solar Beam," said Sawsbuck.

"Well," said Yarnell, "One thing's for sure. That Fairy Godmother will never ever be bothering Shrek or Fiona again for a very very long time."

The Penguin Express arrive at the DillyDale bus stop and Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck climbed off the bus. And Yarnell said:

"Come on Skyros and Sawsbuck, let's go help Little Miss Whoops out at the DillyDale County Fair Pie tasting Contest like we promised her."

* * *

 **Later that Afternoon**

Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck were at the DillyDale County Fair with Little Miss Whoops, Mr Scatterbrain and Mr Rude.

"And it's time for the DillyDale County Fair Pie tasting Contest," said Little Miss Whoops, "I like to introduce our judges: Mr Rude, Mr Scatterbrain, Yarnell the Deer, Ventus Skyros and Sawsbuck."

"Wait!" said Mr Scatterbrain and he pulled a letter chart, "Okay Ready."

"We are tasting Pies," said Mr Rude, "Not testing eyes."

"Oh," said Mr Scatterbrain, "Pies. Well in that case. Heres Blueberry."

"A dospey Goat," said Mr Rude, "Does this look like a Petting Zoo?"

"Sorry Blueberry," said Yarnell.

"Let's get this over with," said Mr Rude.

"Alrightie then," said Miss Whoops as she went to get the first Pie but Blueberry came clopping by, causing Miss Whoops to fall on his back and the Pie she was carrying fell onto Mr Rude.

"Bah!" said Mr Rude, "What is this? A dog food Pie?"

"Actually," said Skyros, "It's a minced meat Pie."

"Like I said," said Mr Rude, "Food of the dog."

And threw the Pie in Mr Scatterbrain's face, Yarnell, Skyros and Sawsbuck quickly got of the way to join Little Miss Whoops.

"I love this game," said Mr Scatterbrain and he threw another Pie at Mr Rude's face.

"Uhh," said Mr Rude, "Banana Cream."

Mr Rude and Mr Scatterbrain started throwing more Pies at each other and Blueberry took a bite out of a Pie, Sawsbuck pushed him forward to Little Miss Whoops who said as she placed a Roset on him:

"Looks Blueberry is the winner."

A Pie hit Little Miss Whoops in the face and she smiled as Blueberry licked her.

 **The End**

 **THE NEXT STORY WILL BE THE GUARDIAN CHRONICLES**


End file.
